Duke Forrest's Birth Story

I wrote this post 3+ months ago and finally just added pictures. Little Duke is 7 months now! It's so funny to look at these pictures and see how much he has changed in 7 months. Absolutely crazy! pics are listed mostly chronologically :)

On Thursday, October 18 we welcomed little Duke Forrest into our family. His first name is after his daddy's nickname and his middle name is after my grandfather Forrest Bland. He's four months now which is just crazy and shows how behind I am in blogging these days! I wanted to share his birth story here so that I can always have it to look back on.

Pregnancy is really rough for me. Morning sickness till at least 14 weeks. Then the ok second trimester followed by a very painful third trimester-sciatica, back pain, extreme tiredness. I honestly couldn't wait for it to be over with! For some reason on Wednesday (the day before he was born) I instinctually knew he was coming the next day. I don't know how, it was strange. I was also determined. I spent the whole day cleaning- rearranging under the stairs, vacuuming, moving things around. After dinner, I told Duke I wanted to go get a pedicure (thought maybe the foot massage would help get the baby out?) And he said, "can't you do that tomorrow?" and in my head I just thought, tomorrow will be too late.

Anyways,  at 2:30 am I woke up to what felt like a really hard kick from baby. I woke up and was like whoa. And got up to go to the bathroom, went to bathroom and as soon as I stood up water started GUSHING out. It was like the faucet was turned on high blast. It was kind of crazy. I did not have my water break with Lucy until i was pretty far into labor, so that was a new experience. I sat back down and it stopped. Then I yelled for Duke. And he's so funny, he started acting like it was an emergency. I was like, "it's ok, theres no rush!" I wasn't having active contractions (although I'd had small contractions on and off for weeks) But at the same time lets get things ready.

Also as a side note, Duke was having a grueling week of flying and getting certain qualifications passed off and everyday was wishing I'd go into labor so he could catch a break and finally I was like, look! I did it! hahaha. Anyways I laid back on the bed while he got everything ready and we got to the hospital at 4. Lucy was happy to be up and tagging along. Duke's older brother Roy drove an hour down from Corona to pick Lucy up which was SO NICE! As cute/fun as it would have been for her to be there, it was nice to have some peaceful moments and just bond with baby when he got there one-on-one. So anyways, get up to Labor and Delivery and they're like, are you sure your water broke? And i'm like...umm yeah pretty sure I've lost about a gallon or 5 of water if I was guessing. Went back to triage and now I cannot remember what I was measuring when they checked me. I know I was at least a 3 maybe a 4. That's why I shouldn't wait so long to write this stuff down! I was a little disappointed bc I had made it to a 5 with Lucy before being in active labor.

first meal post birth^^

They brought us back to the delivery room and it was fun to tell Lucy that the baby was finally coming! She was content to watch shows on her ipad and my contractions were pretty mild and I was excited I still pretty comfortable. This whole birth experience was SO SO SO different from Lucy's. In a good way haha. Although I am happy I did Lucy's birth all natural, I am equally happy how I did Duke's birth. I opted for the epidural and I remember the guy came in around 6:15am (the weird things I remember?) by that point I was just starting to get uncomfortable with the contractions and so the epidural was very welcome. For the next 3 hours I honestly felt like I was on a vacation. ZERO pain, I facetimed with my good friend Taylor, put on my makeup, I was having the time of my life! The baby heart rate was starting to drop so I had to lie with a pillow under one side, basically there was only one position that baby's heart rate was happy and the epidural works by gravity, so I started becoming more uncomfortable on the higher side. I complained about it to the nurses and they were like, you might be ready to push. I'm like ummm NO WAY! It's been like 5 minutes and I haven't had time to watch any shows or anything! PS Lucy's labor was 19 hours...basically a whole day.

They checked me and were like, yep, you're ready! And I was like, dang it, I was just enjoying myself! This is the only part things weren't as peachy as predicted. Most people barely have to push to get their second baby out. My DR predicted I'd have him out in 5 minutes. Well... it took 40. And got a little scary for me. I was pushing as hard as I FREAKING could and I'm like HOW is he not here. I even felt his head and it was like RIGHT THERE!! They had several doctors in there and were even starting talking about getting the vacuum and forceps ready. I was like NOOOOO (in my head). Baby's heart rate was dropping and he was getting really stressed so they gave me medicine to stop the contractions and let him chill out for about 10 mins to get his heart rate back to normal. I was praying so hard he'd come out on his own.

Well long story short, he came out on his own! Yay. But they gave me an episiotomy. Boo. Before that the midwife who did it said she's given an episiotomy once in 10 years. Glad I could be her number 2 (not!).

He was having a hard time breathing so they placed him on me and I cut the cord! (Duke is very not into that). Then they immediately whisked him away. So I just sat there in my hospital bed getting stitched up. But about an hour later they brought him back to me and man, he was just perfect. I was shocked at all his hair and how dark it was!

lucy meeting duke for the first time

There is something so incredibly special about a baby fresh from heaven. He weighed in at 6 lbs 15 oz and 19 inches.

Duke Forrest McCrory was finally here! Although looking back now it seems like we just found out we were pregnant with him. And now he is here! And 4 months old! TIME STOP!!!

It's so fun being a family of 4 and I feel just a little more complete in life.

What I would tell my pre-motherhood self

I've been listening to a podcast called "Extraordinary Moms" on and off for a few months now. The last question the host asks all of her guests is "What would you tell your pre-motherhood self?" Each time she asks I try to think, what would I say? I'm only two years into this journey and I'm sure once I have more kids and have been on my journey longer, my responses will change, but here's my thoughts as of right now:

Even though you've always wanted to be a mom, it will surprise you how hard of an adjustment motherhood is for you.

Your body took 9 months to accommodate the space for this baby. Give yourself 9 months to feel like your normal self. It will go back close to normal eventually. And then accept your body for the miracle it created!

This job will challenge you more than you have ever been challenged before. You're baby will cry.. a lot! But not because you are a bad mom or doing something wrong. Make sure you get out of the house (even though you feel like you can't because your child hates the carseat) and spend time with good friends who are understanding while your husband is working.

You can leave your baby with a sitter or a day care! In fact, it will be the best thing you ever do for yourself and your sanity. Your child will grow and blossom from these changes. Next time, don't wait so long.

Along with the above statement-make sure you're taking care of yourself too. Doesn't matter what, but find alone time, get a manicure, workout--do something that makes you still feel like YOU.

Don't let other mothers choices make you feel bad about the choices you make for your child (still working on this one). You know and love your child best.

Don't assume that your child won't have certain "problems." Be prepared for anything! (like hating food, not wanting to wear clothes, hating you touching their hair, throwing tantrums, and other silly stuff)

Your child will put a lot of stress on your marriage. Communicate and be patient.

Your bond with your husband will grow over the love, adoration and caring for your child.

It is very TRUE that children are different and learn differently. It really and truly means nothing that your child seems to do things "later" than most in the beginning year or so.

Take lots of videos. You forget stuff. And can't believe how little and tiny they used to be!

Your heart will grow 100000 times over.

Your child will be the greatest source of happiness and fulfillment. So press through the hard times and the bad days because it is 1000% worth it.

Mother Daughter Photos

These pictures were taken by my friend Rebecca Jaggi. I've admired her work for a while so it was fun to finally shoot with her. These pictures were actually part of Duke's Christmas present. He'd been asking for pictures of us for his office forever, so I set up a mini shoot and framed a couple of them for Christmas. I will also treasure these photos forever! I'm so lucky to have this little lady in my life.

Moments in Motherhood

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I've been reflecting on the beauty of motherhood lately. I've reached a point in this journey where I can confidently say that I enjoy being a mom. It was a hard transition for me. Seeing Lucy grow into her own person though--there's nothing like it! However, let's not forget it is one of the most challenging things anyone will ever do. I know that along with the highs will come many lows. Motherhood is the roller coaster of all roller coasters.  One of my all time favorite quotes is from Thomas Paine, "The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value." There is so much truth in that statement! Especially in motherhood. 

For me, the best moments in are the ones most people don't see. When I'm nursing Lucy and she looks up at me and pauses to smile; when she stops moving for just 5 seconds to lay her head on my chest; watching her try to figure things out--I can almost see the wheels in her head spinning while her brow furrows; talking to herself in her high-pitched gargly voice; her giant smiles that make her eyes all squinty; nursing her to sleep while we cuddle in my big bed. It's strange how these perfect little moments make up for the constant daily struggles I go through. 

Here are some pictures I love that seem to have captured those perfect little moments that make motherhood worth it.

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My Baby Survival Kit

Being a new mom is kind of like a slap in the face. You have no idea what to expect until the baby is there. I thought I'd share some products that came recommended to me that I will now sing high praises to all the live long day. They made those hard days a little easier. Some of these are only valuable for months 1-3, like I mention below, but for me months 1-3 were the hardest so far. Hope this helps someone else!

1. Miracle Blanket This swaddle blanket lives up to its name. It's basically like a baby strait jacket. I couldn't quite get down the swaddle with a regular blanket-she always broke out- but once I learned how to swaddle her in this blanket-there was no breaking out! We have 2 of these and they really helped her sleep better.  Also according to dr. karp he says some parents think their babies don't like to be swaddled, but they may just not be swaddling right or not tight enough, and I felt like with this blanket I at least knew I was doing it "right". It got the job done!

2. The Happiest Baby on the Block I can't recommend this video/book enough. It was recommended to us by several people and those "5 S's" really saved our lives. It was amazing to see how once we were doing all 5 S's Lucy would calm down. They really only worked for the first 3 months of her life which they say is the "4th trimester". I also would also say just watch the movie instead of the book. At least thats what we did :)

3. Solly baby or any wrap. LIFESAVER. Every time I leave the house with Lucy I make sure I have the wrap. If I'm out and she needs to sleep or needs to be lugged around I put her in this. Sometimes when I'm at home and can't get her to sleep I'll put her in the wrap and I swear it's magic. Sometimes it's the only way to get anything done. I wear it to church and I've worn it on every plane trip with her. It's also the product I get the most questions on. Especially traveling-people are fascinated by this thing. It is worth every penny. I have 2 and want more...but i have problems sooo... ;) I recently found a cheaper alternative though called Happy Wrap. And I've seen people use these till their kid is 1.

4. White Noise Lite app and/or Munchkin Nursery Projector and Sound System One of the "5 S's" you learn in Happiest Baby on the Block is to "shush" or basically have white noise. The first day she was born we used the app in the hospital and it's honestly amazing how the noise would calm her down. It was convient for us to have it on our phone bc we could use it on-the-go. I know it was annoying to some people-as we'd have it on while driving in the car-but what's worse-a baby screaming or some white noise??! We also got this white noise machine and now we really only use it at night. The machine plays 6 different white noises and has a projector or images onto the ceiling and can be voice activated so that's cool. We still use it every night to help her sleep better. I'm a believer.

5. Rock 'n Play I lucked out and got a hand me down rock 'n play fo' free! And i'm so happy I did bc they are awesome. Our bedroom is so teeny tiny that I couldn't really have fit any type of bassinet in there if I wanted to. So Lucy slept in this from months 1-3 and it was perfect. I could rock her while lying in bed half asleep and she was right next to me. Now I put her in it while I'm taking a shower so I can keep an eye on her. I loved it. Plus they're small and portable. Win-win.

Thoughts on Motherhood Part II

The past three months have been challenging. However, I can finally say I'm at the point where I'm loving being a mom. It took a while for me to get here though. I guess I'm just not a fan of the newborn phase. Someone told me the first 12 weeks are the hardest and I can now say "tell me about it".

When Lucy hit about a month or two I had a lot of people ask me "Do you just love being a mom?!". I honestly didn't know how to answer that question. I guess the real answer was no. My feelings were: I love HER. But I do not love sleep deprivation, the sound of her crying, my breastfeeding troubles, not being able to go places easily...and the list goes on. It surprised me and scared me a little when people asked me that question and I couldn't just answer "yes!". I felt like that's how I was "suppose" to feel. It's also how I expected to feel.

I also found myself getting frustrated on social media. I follow a lot of people on Instagram that have babies and young children. I kept seeing all these posts saying "oh my house is so messy and I have a million things to be doing, but there's NOTHING I would rather be doing than sitting here with my babies!" Even people with newborns raving about how they just LOVE it all! It made me a little upset and I just wanted to grab them and yell, "stop lying!!" I started to feel like I was on the inside of something and I knew the truth.  

It made me sad that I wasn't LOVING it. I always wanted to be a mom and kind of assumed I'd love it. 

Fast forward to 12 weeks. Something magical happened. I didn't notice until a couple weeks later, but I realized I was loving it. By 12 weeks she became more predictable. She wasn't so crazy gassy and screaming in pain, I was starting to understand what her different cries meant, and what she preferred. My breastfeeding problems resolved. I felt like Lucy was a happier baby. She was smiling at me and I was feeling a love between us I hadn't felt before. 

So I'm here to give people hope (and remind myself in the future) it gets better! I know it can only go up from here. I feel lucky to have this little chicken nugget. I know there are still gonna be lots of ups and downs, but the love is all worth it! Her sweet smiles and giggles make me smile everyday.

I love you Lucy Joy!