Saturday & Sunflowers

On Saturday I spent some time with my friend Annie since both our husbands were working. Well, Duke is actually deployed right now, but I'm sure he was working wherever he was. We went to brunch at Coffee Casa, walked to the seawall, then later that afternoon we went to the sunflower field where they usually have the sunflower festival (they moved it this year). But we got our pictures in! I don't know what I'm gonna do when Annie LEAVES ME this summer. We're kind of each other's personal photographers, since our husbands are always stuck at work. Love this little island! See sunflowers from last year here.

longboarding adventures

I have this cool, hip friend who just bought a longboard. So she brought it over to my place so we could give it a whirl. I think I've been on a longboard once before for about 5 minutes. It was so fun!!! I think I need one now. Maybe not super practical with a baby. But I'm sure I could figure out something ;)

Annie & J boy

Winston was also pretty enthralled with the longboard...until we tried to get him on it. There was a moment we got the longboard moving, but winston's hind legs were straddling the board and they were running to keep up with it. I was dying. Thanks for the laughs Winston.

Thoughts on Motherhood Part II

The past three months have been challenging. However, I can finally say I'm at the point where I'm loving being a mom. It took a while for me to get here though. I guess I'm just not a fan of the newborn phase. Someone told me the first 12 weeks are the hardest and I can now say "tell me about it".

When Lucy hit about a month or two I had a lot of people ask me "Do you just love being a mom?!". I honestly didn't know how to answer that question. I guess the real answer was no. My feelings were: I love HER. But I do not love sleep deprivation, the sound of her crying, my breastfeeding troubles, not being able to go places easily...and the list goes on. It surprised me and scared me a little when people asked me that question and I couldn't just answer "yes!". I felt like that's how I was "suppose" to feel. It's also how I expected to feel.

I also found myself getting frustrated on social media. I follow a lot of people on Instagram that have babies and young children. I kept seeing all these posts saying "oh my house is so messy and I have a million things to be doing, but there's NOTHING I would rather be doing than sitting here with my babies!" Even people with newborns raving about how they just LOVE it all! It made me a little upset and I just wanted to grab them and yell, "stop lying!!" I started to feel like I was on the inside of something and I knew the truth.  

It made me sad that I wasn't LOVING it. I always wanted to be a mom and kind of assumed I'd love it. 

Fast forward to 12 weeks. Something magical happened. I didn't notice until a couple weeks later, but I realized I was loving it. By 12 weeks she became more predictable. She wasn't so crazy gassy and screaming in pain, I was starting to understand what her different cries meant, and what she preferred. My breastfeeding problems resolved. I felt like Lucy was a happier baby. She was smiling at me and I was feeling a love between us I hadn't felt before. 

So I'm here to give people hope (and remind myself in the future) it gets better! I know it can only go up from here. I feel lucky to have this little chicken nugget. I know there are still gonna be lots of ups and downs, but the love is all worth it! Her sweet smiles and giggles make me smile everyday.

I love you Lucy Joy!